Connecticut River Monster

The Connecticut River Monster, in its natural habitat—the riparian areas of the Connecticut and White Rivers. Reconstruction by Steve Bissette, 2009, c.e.

The Carcass

The Connecticut River Monster skeletal structure, as depicted by Mr. Scott Mardis. 2000, c.e.

Connecticut River Monster, (Hydrohippokampos athesphatos lymanae) previously unknown biological classification, formerly or sometimes still known as "Connecticut River Sea Monster" embalmed aquatic/amphibious specimen. Wax and baling wire. Illuminated. Custodian and interpretive administrator: Gulgo Vandersheltz Bargain.
Too much as already been both said and written about this Aquatic Fauna specimen. Mysterious in origin and somewhat contumacious in aspect, he—or she—remains one of the most popular exhibits in the Museum.
A selection of press and signage accompany the specimen in the Museum's exhibition room, case XDIV.

fa.1994.65.em (Pre-1997 catalog)

Specific Dimensions

Reconstruction of the fleshy parts, by Scott Mardis, 2000, c.e.

Total length from tip of snout to end of tail: 8 ft., 5 inches.
Length of skull: 18 inches
Length of lower jaw: 15 inches
§12 teeth in upper jaw, 6 each side. 12 teeth in lower jaw, 6 each side.
Length of ears: 5 inches
Length of neck: 2 ft. 18 neck vertebrae
Length of torso: 1 ft., 8 inches, 14 torso vertebrae
Abdominal ribs, 6 pairs. Each rib 11.5 inches
Length of arm (humerus) bones: 8.5 inches
Shoulder girdle, foot and finger bones missing
Length of leg (femur) bones: 11 inches
§Foot and toe bones missing
Length of tail, 15 tail vertebrae: 4 ft., 9 inches
§Some of the teeth are missing but the above numbers are what would have been there if the carcass was complete.

Main Street Museum director David Fairbanks Ford describes the Connecticut River Sea-Monster in a lecture given at the University of Vermont, 2000, c.e.

Exhibition

The Carcass of this unusual specimen was originally exhibited in a vitrine, far to small for the creatures dimensions, in the front room of the Main Street Museum, in its Headquarters on South Main Street, the former "Lena's Lunch" Building. At this time, in 1996, the owners of the Hotel Coolidge allowed the beast to be exhibited in the dining room of their establishment, during a fundraising dinner for "Riverfest."

These exhibits proving so financially lucrative for the Museum, a ponderous vitrine was produced, featuring neo-classic elements and a commodious chamber which allowed the specimen to be observed and studied to its full measurements. At this time, Professor Gulgo Vandershelz Bargain was again called upon, to restore and interpret the remains of the creature, which, it must be said, were in such a state of natural decay, due to thier perhaps lengthy stay underwater—being molested by how many voracious, clawing, nibbling underwater creatures Heavens only knows—that Professor Bargains talents were taxed to their utmost in putting together a specimen that is at once languid and menacing; supple and minatory; lax and anxious. It can only increase the anxiety of the viewer, knowing that it was once alive, and swimming in the river, just a few feet from the Museum's own back door.

Thus interpreted and displayed, the Monster was shown on the grounds of the Tunbridge World's Fair, during Vermont History Expo, in 1998.

New species must not be merely slaughtered for trophies: "Have pity on them all, for it is we who are the real monsters." —Bernard Heuvelmans

On First Friday, 4th September, 2009, from 5 to 9 p.m. Its Monster Day in White River Junction! If you have ever wondered what Weird and Stomach-Churning Beasts wallow in the somewhat unsavory waters of the White and the Connecticut Rivers; and if you have ever longed to see Real Live Cartoonists, in their natural habitat, spraying ink on each other—or eating crackers and cheese—come and see the Rare Specimens—human, animal and everything in between!
All events are Free and open to the eager Public!

Schedule of Attractions!

5 p.m. to 7 p.m.:

• On the Main Street Museum Stage—the live tunes, jazz and interpretation of Neil Luke and his combo!

• At the Cartoon School, 94 South Main Street, The Center for Cartoon Studies Faculty Art Exhibition, featuring a selection of instructor Stephen R. Bissette’s brand new Vermont Monster Guide original illustrations—come and meet and chat with faculty, students, alumni, and to meet and greet Vermont Monster Guide author Joe Citro and artists Steve Bissette and Cayetano ‘Cat’ Garza, Jr.!

• Note: The new freshmen class will also be in town, and there will be lots of eye-candy and surprises. A running video loop of a Steve Bissette inking demo—featuring one of the illustrations that appears in the Vermont Monster Guide!—will also be projected throughout the event. Come and enjoy!

7 p.m. to 9 p.m.:

• At the Main Street Museum (a short walk from CCS) see more Vermont Monster Guide original art—and witness, in person, some of the Real Vermont Monsters that appear in the book! Are they alive?! Shocking!

Main Street Museum director David Fairbanks Ford describes the Connecticut River Sea-Monster in a lecture given at the University of Vermont, 2000, c.e.

• SEE! Connecticut River Sea-Monster Is it Champ's Cousin, is it the Last Dinosaur, or did this Odious Chimera come from Outer Space? You decide!

• SEE! The Fantastic Furred Fish, or a "pelted perch", these appalling specimens grow fur in Northern climes to stay warm! A Shameful Display!

• SEE! Miniature Replica of The Lake Champlain Monster "Champ" in All Its Glory! Horrific! Shocking!

• SEE & HEAR! Museum staff reminisce about the career and personality disorders of Gulgo Vandersheltz Bargain—Monster Hunter and Expert in "Oriental Taxidermy" We will Tell All — Live! Live! Live!

• Also, at 7:30 p.m., the Museum is proud to present a Live Citro & Bissette Vermont Monster Guide Lecture with illuminated slides on the Museum stage, followed by Q&A!

They Walk! They Talk! They Speak the Unspeakable & Show the Unshowable! They Crawl on Their Bellies Like Reptiles and Hiss and Spit (well, maybe only if they have had too much wine. So be careful people, don't let them have too much wine!
You’ll want to see & hear it all! Don’t be late!

Warning: Individuals with heart conditions, high blood-pressure, or "nervous stomaches" should not attend this event! You must obtain a Doctor's Certificate if you wish to view these Despicable Displays!

For as long as there have been fisher-folk, and contact with the ocean, there have been Sea Monsters.

Cover of the Vermont Monster Guide, University Press of New England, 2009.

References and Links

See Monsters as only a Master of Comics could draw them here at Steve Bissette's own htmlpage!

and see Joe Citro's blogspot page here!